⛰️ Why do we fall? How to restart a habit after a break

​Read the essay on the web ↗​

You start going to the gym every week. You manage to keep your streak for two months. Then travel comes up, and you intentionally pause for one week. Then upon returning from the travel, you get sick, and now the one-week pause turns into three. Does that mean you failed?

You probably have the image of an ideal self in your mind. Maybe this image is built on people you admire and their virtues. Long-lasting change takes place at the intersection of discipline and reflection.

Sixteen years of starting over

I started my first blog in 2010. It was easy to keep it going for two years. Then life happened, and future iterations of a blog or newsletter never stuck for more than a few months.

Until I started this newsletter in 2025. And for the first time in 16 years I’m confident that I can come back and keep it going.

The three pillars that are allowing me to pick myself up are: Identity, Habits, and Systems. If you are curious about this topic, I recommend reading Atomic Habits by James Clear.​

The fall is the most important part of the story

In one way or another, we have all experienced the hero’s journey. If a movie is good enough, it grabs your attention and makes you care about the main character. That’s the result of the hero’s journey being done right.

I would argue that the most important part in the hero’s journey is when the hero fails.

Because we realize they have the same weaknesses and flaws as we do. Then something changes. And the hero comes to a revelation that allows them to come back stronger.

Returning in a new reality

When chaos breaks your streak, it’s very likely your first thought is: “I can’t wait to go back to normal.” There are two flaws in this logic:

• Many situations aren’t within your influence. If you get sick, you can do your best to take care of yourself, but you can’t control the timeline.
• Life is always moving forward. There’s no going back to normal. You can return to a habit in a new reality. And what increases your chances of success are the systems you have in place.

Keep in mind the hero’s journey is a cycle. Once a challenge is overcome, a new one will appear. The reflection and learning at the hardest point of the journey are what create a hero or a villain. Heroes learn from their mistakes, villains look for excuses to reinforce an old point of view.

Why do we fall?

Whenever I’m at the hardest point of the journey toward my ideal self and going with the current feels easier than taking a stand, I tend to remember what Alfred tells Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins:

It all starts with your identity. It’s okay if things get messy. It’s okay if it takes time. If returning to your practice is at the top of your mind, then you haven’t failed. You’ll eventually pick yourself up.

🎯 The 1% Practice of the Week

If you are struggling to get back to a habit, write down your answers to these questions:

• Why did I start doing X?
• How does X fit into my long-term goals/ideal future?
• Who am I if I’m not doing X?

I hope those questions bring you clarity, and help you pick yourself up if needed.